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Upper Gannawarra Football League - 2009

This Week's Report

Upper Gannawarra Football League
Faxed by Porky Morris, of the Titybong Pig Farm, on behalf of Minnie Morris, Postmistress at the Titybong General Store and Licensed Post Office whose whereabouts are now known. The ladies from the CWA decided on a whim to continue their Bedford bus trip from Deniliquin - across to Coober Pedy, and have sent back a photo of them standing in front of the Opal Beetle shop. Minnie and her friends are on the way back to Titybong. Minnie, at the age of 91, says she started drinking alcohol for the first time in her life.

This report is written by Tom Morris, Editor of the Upper Gannawarra Chronicle, available on Wednesdays at district general stores for only 70 cents.
This report is jointly sponsored by Horace McMaster of the Grand Central Hotel in Morris Pde, and Morrie Morris of the Titybong Mobil Service Station and Roadhouse, on the Lalbert side of town.

In breaking news, Police are on the lookout for Tessa Morris's cousin, Roberta, and her boyfriend Benji, who are missing. Dumosa detectives believe Robera has a meat cleaver stolen from Hiscock's Meats at Towaninny, and a crowbar and tyre lever stolen from the Titybong Roadhouse, on the Lalbert side of town. A pair of Kumf's Shoes is also missing from the Gilmour's Titybong Comfort Shoes outlet, which is open between 2 and 4 on Friday afternoons.

The annual ANZAC Day dawn service was held in Titybong on Saturday on the banks of the Upper Gannawarra. Cedric Namatjira, one of the elders of the Mount Titty Bong Bong community, read the ode, and his cousin Bartholomew blew Reveille on the bugle. A rum breakfast - sponsored by Hyslop's Licensed Grocers - was held at the Titybong RSL, where the annual tradition of drawing that day's football fixture was conducted, with football club names drawn from the original soldier's hat, worn in the Boer War by Major-General Cecil Towaninny Morris. This was followed by games of two-up out the back of the RSL club rooms.

In a worrying event, St Michael's priest, Fr Aloysius Kelly, went into deep convulsions when the gunfire salute was sounded at the ANZAC remembrance. Doctors believe this is related to when he was assaulted recently by Roberta Morris. Father Kelly seemed well enough, however, to deliver the ANZAC Day address, and he urged young people with the theme: "Stick It Out". Whatever the adversity, stick it out. Whatever the challenge, stick it out, in the great Australian tradition, he said.

THE RESULTS
Towaninny South (the Swans) were drawn to play Titybong (the Tits) in the ANZAC Day blockbuster at the Orville Morris Crop Dusting Airways Arena. The Swans took the upper hand in the last minutes of the final quarter, winning by 5 points: 13.5 (93) to Titybong 12.16 (88).
Kalpienung (the Pies) 13.16 (94) were victorious went they travelled to silo country, to beat Dumosa (the Silos) 7.16 (58).
Last year's runners-up, Cokum (the Cocks) , 18.13 (121) defeated Ninyeunook (the Ninnys) 16.4 (100).
Wangie (the Wangers) 11.8 (74) had a surprise win over St Michael's (the Micks) 7.14 (56), and the loss sees the Micks toppled from the top of the ladder. In a controversial move, coach Fr Aloysius Kelly refused to serve communion to the St Michael's players, and ordered them to two training sessions every day this week, the first being at 5.30am this morning, with evening training starting at 5pm.
The big news saw Cannie (the Canaries), 15.12 (102), register its first win for the season, over Towaninny (Towa Powa), 5.6 (36). Cannie coach Wally Terrace was seen performing an Irish jig at the Grand Central Hotel in Titybong late on Saturday night.

THE LADDER
1. Wangie 158.7, 20
2. St Michael's 175.6, 16
3. Towaniny 131.5, 12
4. Kalpienung 116.2, 12
5. Cokum 104.3, 12
6. Ninyeunook 82.1, 8
7. Dumosa 74.5, 8
8. Towaniny South 79.1, 4
9. Cannie 72.1, 4
10. Titybong 67.3, 4

SOCIAL NOTES
All was fine at the Titybong ground on Saturday for the blockbuster, until half-time when the Titybong RSL Junior Marching Girls collided with the orphans from Dumosa, who were collecting patriotic fund donations in an Australian flag on the boundary fence of the arena. A fight broke out between the Marching Girls and the orphans, and had to be broken up by the nuns, wielding 3-foot blackbaord rulers. It is considered that the orphans won the fight. $74.80 was raised for charity.

The ANZAC Day raffle prize of a dressed ham was won on Saturday afternoon by Solomon Schwartz, a cousin of Goldie Silverstein. Sol was visiting from Elwood in Melbourne.

Upper Gannawarra football results can be seen at the website - www.overnighters.com.au
The Upper Gannawarra Football League report is heard at 1.30am and 4.30am every Monday on 3AW, and in the breakfast session on Upper Gannawarra FM's breakfast show hosted by Jimmy Darren and Leonard Anthony.

Upper Gannawarra IS football.

Upper Gannawarra Football League
Faxed by Maureen Morris of the Titybong Bakery and Cake Store, Morris Parade in Titybong, on behalf of Minnie Morris of the Titybong General Store and Licensed Post Office, who is away on a NSW pokies bus trip with the Titybong CWA. Tessa Morris is taking care of business while Minnie is away.

This report is prepared by Tom Morris of the Upper Gannawarra Chronicle newspaper, and the segment is sponsored by the Grand Central Hotel. Tonight's attractions include a country and western night, with a motorised bucking bull in the main bar. RSL members will have an ANZAC Day planning meeting in the back bar. The Titybong Football Club's Social Committee are having a meeting in the Green Room to plan the 2009 Upper Gannawarra Pub Crawl, aboard Gus McMaster's Furniture Removal Van.

Community News
Roberta Morris is still on the loose, after breaking out of the Dumosa Police cells, following a vicious assault on her boyfriend. Police warn local people not to approach her.

The spotlight is on Wally Terrace, coach of the Cannie side, who has yet to register a win in the first three rounds of the Upper Gannawarra fixture. Cannie this week meet second-placed Wangie. The Canaries committe are due to meet Sunday morning to discuss plans for the rest of the season.

Local Deputy Mayor Doug Entwistle is in strife after revealing that he took a study trip to Fiji, funded by local Chinese businesswoman Hu Yu, who runs the Golden Emperor Sunny Dragon Lucky Royal Lotus Bamboo Palace. He said he did nothing wrong by accepting the trip, free clothing, use of a car and an apartment, and small gifts of cash. He said Madam Yu is a long-time family friend.

The Ladder after Round 3
1 St Michael's. 228.2 12
2 Wangie 177.2 12
3 Towaninny 142.3 8
4 Cokum 105.6 8
5 Nunyeunook 84.6 8
6 Kalpienung 102.8 4
7 Dumosa 58.6 4
8 Titybong 58.0 4
9 Towaninny South 77.9 -
10 Cannie 65.1 -

This Saturday's Matches:
Cannie v Wangie
Cokum v Towaninny South
Dumosa v Towaninny
Kalpienung v Titybong
Ninyeunook v St Michaels

The Titybong Team:
B: Duff, G. Watson, Dumbrell
HB: Cropley, David Purcell, Duck
C: Healey, Clissold, Hiscock
HF: Trebilcock, Chitty, Howard Johnson
F: Pugsley, F Morris Jnr, Crouch
R: Campbell, Hogan, Cox
Reserves: Pearce has a sore hip, Mueller is sidelined.
Coach: Nipper Forbes. Head Trainer Curly Mott will again carry the oranges.

Armstrong and Quirk are back from their inter-league match in Western Australia, but have pulled up sore.
Hiscock is back in, Pullen off, and Avis is still concussed.
NSW recruit G. Watson is full-back.
South Australian recruit Johns is trying out for the Titybong side.
Trainor and P:ock have been dropped.

Results will be herad on 3AW at 1.30am and 4.30am on Monday morning. A live match description of the Titybong match will be heard on Upper Gannawarra Community Radio, with a mystery guest commentator.

Upper Gannawarra ... is football.

Round 4. Saturday, April 18

Cannie v Wangie
Cokum v Towaninny South
Dumosa v Towaninny
Kalpienung v Titybong
Ninyeunook v St Michaels

Ladder after Round 3
1 St Michael's. 228.2 12
2 Wangie 177.2 12
3 Towaninny 142.3 8
4 Cokum 105.6 8
5 Nunyeunook 84.6 8
6 Kalpienung 102.8 4
7 Dumosa 58.6 4
8 Titybong 58.0 4
9 Towaninny South 77.9 -
10 Cannie 65.1 -

Scores So Far
Round 1. Saturday, March 25
Wangie 23.10 (150) v Titybong 9.13 (67)
Kalpienung 13.8 (86) v Cokum 13.12 (90)
Towaninny South 9.11 (65) v Towaninny 12.8 (80)
Ninyeunook 15.21 (111) v Cannie 16.7 (103)
St Michaels 23.12 (150) v Dumosa 9.13 (67)

Round 2. Saturday, April 4
Titybong 9.13 (67) v Cokum 23.12 (150)
Towaninny 13. 8 (86) v Wangie 13.12 (90)
Cannie 9.11 (65) v Kalpienung 12.8 (80)
Towaninny South 16.7 (103) v St Michaels 20.19 (139)
Ninyeunook 23.12 (150) v Dumosa 9.13 (67)

Round 3. Saturday, April 11
Ninyeunook 4.12 (36). v St Michaels, 30.1 (181)
Wangie 23.12 (150) d Cokum (The Cocks) 9.13 (67)
Kalpienung (The Pies) 13.8 (86) v Titybong 13.12 (90)
Towaninny South (The Swans) 9.11 (65) v Dumosa (The Silos), 12.8 (80)
Towanniny 23.12 (150) d Cannie 9.13 (67)

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